Further by feather

Further by feather

To be  young, wild, and free
That’s what I wanna be!
I long to be outside these cold bars I see

Outcast and Outraged.
Falling behind my years.
My smile fooling my peers,
meanwhile fears fuel my tears
That’s not how it ends,
let’s turn a page.
Betrayed but not derailed.
Chase after destiny,
with my morals unchanged.
No one but me, my God,  and forced faith.

To fly is my absolute.
Feather,  by feather
To reach new altitudes
Further and further
with my new attitude.

Know for sure that I certainly will.
Determined not dependent,  as I go for the kill.
Whatever it takes.
Whatever the stakes!

Time to take off.
Further by feather…
Let me spread my wings.


They’ve always said it
I always doubt it

I’ve been to the mirror
That’s not what I saw though


You are by my grace.
Look at all the good you are

You are
In all so many ways.

I try really hard, but I’m just not wired that way.
I over think things.
Assumptions lead to misinterpretations 

I guess I’m just wired this way
I try to avoid my thoughts, but in that, I’m not living my truth
It’s like sieving my essence
Extracting features I think people find distracting
Them into thinking I am what I am not

I overthink and wrestle my own tongue every time I have to speak.
Sometimes not speak at all …just because of thoughts.

I am just wired that way




Can you hear Zayn’s song ‘pillow talk ‘ in the background? Oh, I hope you can. I hope you can feel my palpitating heart…. I hope you can feel my heat as I feverishly sweat. I hope you can taste the 2-hour old coffee  I hope you can also see its sticky, bitter-sweet drips, where my lips should have been… 2hours ago.

Can you see me gulp down the mug of my life supply …coffee?

Someone, please tell me you can.


It’s clear to see that I’m growing psychologically, emotionally, and (clears throat) HORIZONTALLY. I have had a good taste of adulthood, and well shit is rough around here. I wish there was an antidote, but I guess coffee will do for now (isn’t that why we “all” drink coffee?)

I look back to this very day a year ago. I was still in school, I still am, varsity is like school too I guess, but school on steroids, that’s if the school were a body builder(but it builds the mind, and this is part of the body, so I guess it is after all!)


…Anyway last year I knew not what I know now, an example would be a random concept like “heat”. The person I was last year didn’t give any thought to such, I didn’t have too, I didn’t know how to. Heat, by the way, can define as “the random motion of particles”, so if that’s true, does coldness mean that the particles are stationary? If so, then…. haha well I refuse to think through that scientifically, so I’ll just stick to being “lazy and cold” by definition.


Time feels as though it is moving too fast for my slow paced life, and sometimes too slow for my fast paced brain( who am I kidding ,if my brain were fast paced well, let’s not go there, at least for now, I’ll give you a dose of crazy just not today). I’m just trying to say that a lot of things have changed, in a very short space of time. I need to find my calm again, I need to find my tranquil state of being once again.


Chase for chaos

For some strange, mysterious reason, however, I can’t seem to get there. I always get close to the place, but then go passed it, and when I try to reverse I still go passed it again. It seems I’m always a step closer to it, but as I try to take that very one step, I leap 10 more. So I thought well isn’t that what life is? They say “it’s about the journey, not the destination” I’ll just enjoy the ride, while the offer still stands (life is too short, seriously). It remains to be seen whether I’ll make it to the finish line or not, but being in the race is exciting enough, so well go ahead and give me my damn prize already!

Okay, I’m sorry pretty please, please….anyone.


Can someone tell me that I’m not being burnt out for nothing, well maybe I already know I’m not? Maybe that’s why I am still part of the chase, as much as it burns, I have no purpose without it, just like a moth drawn to a flame.


So be sure to feel the burn, thank you for reading.