“Nobody cared who I was until I put on the mask”

mask-poppies-field-red.jpg

Just how do I find myself relating to Batman(psssh , because I’m in love with him that’s why) . Batmans character is in many ways like mine, well except for … well that doesn’t matter.
He’s benevolent and  rarely shows it. He’s the good guy with a dark soul, and even darker mask. His mask reveals nothing but his eyes, his beautiful eyes.

Where am I going with this you’re probably asking. I too like him, put on a mask and consequently people started noticing me  more, a whole lot more.

What mask you ask?
Make up.

In more ways than one it is somehow. See I have this skin condition , known to most but rarely understood. Acne-Vulgaris ( acne) .

I used to hate how people would see me and start telling me about skin products or remedies that helped them. I’d appreciate the kindness but I hated how they’d see my condition and not me first.

I wore makeup which I must say , camouflages my spots. And now that I looked more “normal” my  confidence  levels were sky scraping. More so on those days when my outfit too was in ‘flick’ . My boyfriend too said it looked good, and that I was just as good without. I mean I believed him , since we met way before I started wearing this shit.

On the 3rd of February , I turned 19 and I came to realize that I’ve had acne for more than 8 years already. It’s been a burden in my entire teen life. Seeing that the condition wasn’t getting any better despite the amount of time and money I’ve put in. It just didn’t. Makeup , good  makeup is expensive

So what’s a jobless girl to do?

Lose the mask overall. I have decided to drop the mask as a whole. I knew I’d feel bare without it, but it’s just not worth it. I’d rather have those annual injections and medication for acne , otherwise people  like me, will learn to lIke what they see.
They didn’t. But, I couldn’t be less bothered because I do now, and that’s what matters.

I feel like we’re all just trying to fit in somehow and that’s good sometimes, but not if it changes who we are. I , unlike batman put on a mask and did less for others. I’d easily look down on another person with the  very same condition, just because I had a sip mask on. So seeing that I was betraying Batman. Things needed to  change.

😊
I’ve removed the mask and people still don’t care. Ask yourself do opinions matter? Could opinions kill you or raise you from the dead? No. Why care?

Via the daily post : overworked

It has been a while since I went on campus. The feeling never gets old. The feeling of being around intellectuals, “the learned”, “the smart ones”.

Registration day. I give the university management credit, it wasn’t hectic at all. However the chaos in my head was.
Moving from one line to the next, my eyes couldn’t help but peep at the grades of my peers. Oh god, was I disappointed …in myself…and them too. They weren’t complaining enough!
How were they not complaining about the first year being tough?  Why weren’t they talking about quitting school because “it is too hard”?  Why was I?

It isn’t a struggle for them. Them, who worked their asses off the previous year.Turns out not only am I getting into a tougher year of study, but  I have this “carryover burden”.I have yet to complete an outstanding module. Turns out not only am I getting into a tougher year of study, but  I have this “carryover burden”.

I realize that the more I refer to it as a burden, the more burdened I’ll be. There roots my greatest disappointment of all.A terrible mindset.

lamp-finger-touch-hand-85886

Yes, I have a lot of work cut out for me, but I can and will do this. I have to make this work one way or another, otherwise, I’ll have myself thinking I was overworked during the year only to find out I barely was. I will do this. I have to make this work one way or another, otherwise, I’ll have myself thinking I was overworked during the year only to find out I barely was.

Do what you gotta do. Thanks for reading.

pexels-photo-120271

His eyes are the most beautiful when they look into mine.
His eyes say the most beautiful of words , and show me the greatest of smiles.
His eyes  , as if amused by the perfection they see , as if they see something prettier than me , yet telling me not to be …
His eyes are just the most beautiful when they look into mine… that’s why I want look into them all the time.

Nostalgic.❤

 

 

potatoes-ketchup-murder-blood-111130

“How couldn’t I see it coming?” Please…

What he is now, is what he’s always been, you just didn’t want to see it.

I’ve learned amongst the thousand other things, that love is not blind. Not blind at all.

Infatuation ? maybe…

I have realized that all the people I love have one thing in common; there is something about them that annoys me, but I still keep them in my life simply because, the “highs” exceed the “lows”.

Love is seeing the good the bad and the in between, and choosing to let them stay anyway because were happy with them, rather than without. My guy, handsome, smart chocolate fellow (the butterflies I get when I think of him) has his flaws too and has made me frown once or twice, but because he’s the reason I smile, for the most part, makes me stay.

Most people refer to the exes as dogs and a**holes, why not see him as one when you’re still dating?

potatoes-french-mourning-funny-162971

Chances are if he is one, he’s shown signs of being one in the relationship. Perhaps you didn’t want to take note of it. When we fall in love, we see all the good in a person, and should they ever do wrong we quick to make an excuse for them. Most people fail to confront their loved ones, fearing the worst which is losing them. The truth is all this is deeply rooted with our self-worth, if we love ourselves enough to evaluate every person we engage with, and how our interaction with them makes us feel, then we’ll ask ourselves that question. in the end of it all.

So is love really blind?

It will be if we choose to let it be.

He already knew what I was
Born and bred in the rocks and dirt
To be embedded in gold
Way before,  I knew it

He knew I was a diamond,

A diamond in the rough.
He already knew what I was
Though tested and failed a few times
Not to expose the fool I am
But to reveal his genius when I finally get it right.
He knows me as a winner.

He knew where I was going before I even planned the journey
He didn’t promise that weapon against me wouldn’t form
He just promised they wouldn’t prosper.

Be blessed dear reader. Thanks for stopping by.

INTELLIGENT
They’ve always said it
I always doubt it

BEAUTIFUL
I’ve been to the mirror
That’s not what I saw though

<<HE SAID TO ME>>

REDEEMED
You are by my grace.
Look at all the good you are

LOVED
You are
In all so many ways.

Don’t trip, just tie your laces!

Panting and out of breath, ready to give in, he reminded me that life’s journey is a marathon, not a sprint.

healthy-person-woman-sport.jpg

“I’m nowhere close to the front line. I’ve lost this race too in anyways”

But there is yet another to enter.From this one, you will have learned how not to win. And that is good, maybe you’ll win the next maybe not, but each time you participate you are giving yourself a challenge, which poses an opportunity for self-growth, and consequently self-improvement.

He then helped me tie up my running shoes and pushed me back on the race track.

Lately, i’ve been feeling so hopeless, but this piece right here is a collection of all the encouraging words from my loved ones. After days thinking hope had died, she rose from the dead, and this is the connection between her and I.

Thanks for reading.